OCTOBER

...

sunday, october 10th, 2021

he means so much to me and its scary, i do not want to fuck this up. he is so sweet and the little things he does >/////< I haven't felt like this,,,ever. i always thought i was unable to commit but it might be possible. and i do not understandy why this is all going so fast, maybe because i see him EVERYDAY cause we live with each other ? but still. i am overwhelmed by a bunch of emotions i have never felt.

saturday, october 9th, 2021

It is currently 1:21 am and i am lying in bed thinking about he past 3 weeks. one year ago exactly i cried, thinking i had no friends now i am smiling ear to hear cause i am so happy about the people i have met. today i realised i have developed a crush on my roommate. i havent had any romantic feelings in the longest time, possibly since i was 13 but whenever i see him it feels so right :) . Hes so sweet and he cares about me. he listens and we share interest but not ever single one, just enough to bond but not too much for it to get boring. he doesn't care waht anyone thinks about him and he seems so genuine. i feel like i have never met anyone has true to himself as he is. he makes me feel at home altough i have only been here for 21 days. he has been hurt before (by people like me) but i wanna try to commit. i wanna try to be the best version i can be of myself because HE IS. i wanna treasure himbecause he treasures me. he treats me different than everyone i have ever met, we challenge each other without it being toxic. god i never felt like this. this is good. this is how it is supposed to go

thursday, october 7th, 2021

First actual week of uni is almost done!! Its been amazing so far, I cant remember a time where it felt happier than right now :)

friday, october 1st, 2021

I've been going out every night and its amazing. i had my first lectures, met tons of people and i have never felt more alive than now. this is where i need to be. This is right.